human contact

This is a magical time of year. It is also a stressful and sometimes lonely time of year. As we move forward in the age of technology and "delivery" of anything and everything, we leave our houses less. We step outside our comfort zone less often. Here is NYC you can be cramped in a train full of people and be completely alone. All of us with our ear buds/ I-phones/crossword puzzles/smart phones/kindles, stand isolated in a crowd of people. Many studies have also shown that our brains stay healthy and young by changing our daily patterns.

I spend my first year teaching in NYC literally morning, noon and night and had no friends. I had a "cult following" and was so lonely. I know on some levels everyone can relate to that. It seems much more common in a big city to be lonely than a small town. We rarely have "old friends" who live here and if we do, they may very well be in a different phase of life than we are.

There have been small towns where people live much longer than normal. These towns have been studied and one factor that seems to be within these communities there is a strong sense of well, community. People are connected to each other and have daily interactions.

If you do not have co-workers like many people who do one on one work or own their own businesses, you spend most of your time alone or with people that it would be unprofessional to spend time with socially. Many stay at home parents or out of work individuals also suffer the effects of isolation. Sometimes, being a "new Mom" can be the most isolating thing to happen to a person. There are so many scenarios that can potentially lead a person to feeling "alone".

How do we create this sense of "community" in our lives? In this world of electronic intervention, how do we stay connected? I have been pondering this and have some ideas.( I would love to hear some of your ideas too):

1) Join a place of worship (there are places that don't follow any religious dogma but are open to whatever your beliefs are.

2) Learn a new sport (there are clubs for fencing, running, boxing, martial arts etc. and you can meet an amazing array of people there)

3) Take a class to learn Chess/bridge/a new language etc. Not only is this good for your brain but it is also really good for YOU.

4) Change the timing of your day and see what new people you meet.

5) Throw a party and have everyone you know bring 2 friends you don't know.

6) Volunteer.

7) Go to a dog run (even if you don't have a dog, you can always do some research to figure out if you want a dog or what kind of dog would be a good fit).

8) Tag along with a friend through their day. Anything outside of your norm leads to all new possibilities of interaction.

9) Go to a neighborhood you have never been and sit in a small coffee shop and be friendly to the people there.

10) Unplug. Look around you. If you think something (like how nice that sweater is on the person is next to you, SAY it). When you "make someone's day", you make your own. We all have amazing power to create joy all around us.

11) Do good. Look for ways to do this. It may be a stranger or it may be someone you already know very well.

12) Listen to your mother. Ask her what she did when she was younger. You may get some ideas.

Story von Holzhausen