New Year

This is typically a time that people make "resolutions". Usually it is whatever obsession they tell themselves every day that they "should" be doing. There is no secret power that comes on Jan 1st to help you make "this time" any different. Everyone knows what they "should" be doing or "not doing" to be healthy, more positive and productive people. The challenge seems to be the action needed to turn our "hopes" for our lives into our actual "lives".

Human brains seem to operate and run in deeply etched grooves. These grooves are formed from years of repetitive behavior. Sometimes the first "scratch" of a deeply formed groove can come from a childhood experience or just from some self formed belief. These grooves are so deeply formed that they become WHO we are if we do not take care and pay attention to them.

There are "addictions" of all kinds. Two nights ago there was a program on about two women struggling with strange addictions. One was addicted to eating toilet paper and the other to sleeping with her blow dryer on. It is hard not to laugh at such strange addictions. The reality is that anyone not struggling with a specific addictive behavior cannot understand "what the big deal is". Perhaps that is the secret behind it all. The build up and focus on "not doing" something places that thought foremost in our lives. If I say "don't think about a pink elephant", you do.

I would like everyone to turn the usual "resolutions" over and laugh them off. Begin just not giving the power to your own struggles. Let it be easy. Let go of the obsessive worry and energy you give your own angst.

This year, find your joy. Let your life be easy. Think about all the things you want to do, eat, say, learn and experience. Practice the art of imagination, hope and belief. It won't happen in a day but it will happen if you commit to making this change. If your current way is "not working for you", take a good look at those grooves you are etching deeper and deeper and do the work to change them.

We do not get to choose our genetics or our families. We don't get to choose our childhoods or what we look like. We do get to choose who we are and who we will become. We get to choose how we let experiences and challenges change us. Terrible circumstances can make truly amazing human beings. They can also create horrible ones.

Most people work pretty hard at "looking good", having a clean house, a nice car or a successful career. How many people work as hard at being the best person they can be? Can you just imagine how much joy there would be in this world (or in our own lives) if we all began to do just that?

I have asked a very special life coach to guest blog here and she (Erika) will be giving some very good advice about how to begin taking the first steps on that road:

Big thanks to Story for this opportunity to spend time with you! She and I always have meaningful, deep-minded chats when we’re together, so I’m thrilled to share some time with you here as well.

Here’s my first suggestion to you for 2011: Table your sweeping plans for change. Just drop them for a while. Don’t worry; you’ll be able to pick them up after considering a few points.

Step 1-Ask yourself why you’re planning the changes you’ve highlighted for the coming year. If your plan is to lose 15 pounds by June, stop for a moment and consider the source of your motivation. Is it something you think you “should” do? Any desire hinged upon words like “should,” “need to,” or “have to,” is not a sign of internal desire; it’s a sign of obligation to some norm outside of you. If your goal is weight loss, give it a positive spin in your inner and outer monologue. In other words, instead of saying “I should lose 15 pounds,” say “I want to lose 15 pounds.” The earlier version sounds a bit victim-like, doesn’t it? Sort of weighty (no pun intended) in its tone, isn’t it? Yeah, I’m not feeling it either.

However, in saying “I want to lose 15 pounds,” you’ve carefully chosen words that by their very nature feel more energized and motivating. And energized and motivated are indeed two real feelings that can certainly help you in nearly every facet of your life.

Step 2-Become a scientist in your own life. By stepping away from judging yourself, and instead simply sliding into the role of observer—a lab-coated witness to everything you say, what you think and how you act at different times—with absolutely no judgment whatsoever—can be a very revealing exercise. If, for example, I’m the type of person that sets huge goals repeatedly only to rapidly fall back into old patterns, I might ask myself why? What’s my payoff in continuing to overeat? What am I telling myself about this tendency? Which leads me to the next step.

Step 3-Gently and regularly remind yourself that your thoughts are not who you are. They are simply what they appear to be—thoughts. Start looking at where your thoughts about yourself are unkind, lacking compassion and wounding. Remember, thoughts and facts are two different things. Facts are verifiable; thoughts are beliefs built on a lifetime of repeatedly thinking them. For real clarity, start noticing and then questioning your thoughts.

So if we go to the goal of losing 15 pounds, where in your internal dialogue are you already giving up with condemnations like, “Yeah, I tried this last year. I couldn’t do it. I’m a failure and I lack discipline.” Where are the facts in that thought? More importantly, where are the beliefs?

Our source for deep, lasting improvement is inside, not outside. Our mission is to get clear on what we desire and why. If the motivation is a thinly shrouded effort to please anyone but us, success will be elusive.

Now, get your resolution list back out and spend a little time writing about your “whys.” The items on the list that are true to your essential self will feel more like a pull than a push. The plans that you feel pulled by are authentically you. Stick with those and you’ll chart a whole new kind of success.

Wishing you authentic success for the coming year!

Erika Isler is a Martha Beck-trained life coach who works with smart, motivated people ready to reconnect to what they really want. For more information on her and her work, visitwww.erikaisler.com or email her at erikaisler@gmail.com.

Happy New Year !!!

Story von Holzhausen

Believing......

This is the time of year that we believe in miracles. The shimmering memories of childhood are still palpable. Anything could happen.

The promise of magic is still there just waiting for us to believe. The connection between our minds and our bodies is still a mystery. Many people believe there is a very powerful and literal connection. Many body builders subscribe to the belief that by sheer focus, they are able to alter parts of their body. In fact, entire religions are based on the ability to "heal" through faith.

When I created Liquid Strength, it was during a time of great stress and personal difficulty. I was not feeling good on many levels. My body image was horrible and I found that the lack of joy in life and about "me" went hand in hand.

I will always be grateful for the parts of my life that nearly killed me. Every childhood agony helped teach me that joy and love were only in my life if I brought them. No amount of abuse could "make" me lose my hope or my desire to do and be "good". There was and is a tremendous power in that.

As adults, we bring that abuse to ourselves. We stand in the mirror and unleash a litany of "mean" on ourselves.

I have trained and taught thousands of people. Some rich, famous and beautiful and some very normal. The most amazing thing is that no matter what the rest of the world sees, every one of these people only get to experience (enjoy or suffer for) what THEY see.

I work with bodies. I know them. How they move. How the proportions tend to be similar in some types and how each "kind" reacts to certain things. Much of what I have come to learn and believe is not yet explained (or even mentioned) by scientists. We may never understand The amazing bodies we live in completely. Especially the effect that "We" as mental/spiritual beings have on the physical manifestation of ourselves.

I completely believe that when a person (this person can be me too) "sees" , feels and believes themselves to be / look strong and great, they do. It sounds like science fiction but it's not. I have seen it hundreds of times. When formerly heavy people start to lose weight and get excited and happy about themselves, that is when the huge changes happen.

The hard part comes when there are not huge changes to make. Most of my student/clients look great. The changes they are after are subtle and small. In some cases, literally ALL of their misery is in their head. Sometimes I wish I could put them behind glass and pull strangers off the street to give their critiques and force them to listen.....

All of us our born with a body. Hopefully it is a fully functioning healthy one. For that alone we have to be profoundly grateful. The few times I have been injured and unable to train, I have realized that there is a huge difference between not being ABLE to train and just not feeling like it.

Some of us have long legs or long torsos. Some of us are tall. There a million subtle differences between all of our bodies. We tend to love whatever it is that we don't have. It is amazing to me how much time, energy and misery humans bring on themselves contemplating their bodies.

If you take a moment and think about anyone you love or maybe even someone you are envious of, can you picture every single inch or shape of their bodies ? No. You don't really care. I have news for you. Nobody cares about the tiny "flaws" in your body either. NOBODY but you.

The minute you decide to be beautiful and "hot" is the moment you are. What makes someone sexy? Mostly it is confidence. Anyone who walks tall and with posture that screams "I am fantastic", is.

Stop reading beauty magazines. Stop reading tabloids that feed on your insecurity and create a nation of jealous and spiteful people waiting to rip apart each other. You are beautiful, sexy, unique and perfect.

What you are attracted to is as unique as you are. There is no "ideal". It is just opinion. We all get to decide if we are beautiful. I can tell you this, anyone who feels good about themselves is NOT vain. They are happy. They are free to be generous with their compliments and not threatened by beauty around them. They are joyful and have time and energy to think and do truly important things. "Vanity" is when a person (this happens a lot with celebrities) does not really believe in themselves or feel good about who they are but throws attitude around.

There is a story about Marilyn Monroe I love. She was walking with a friend down a busy street and nobody recognized or noticed her. She turned to her friend as said "Want to see me become "her"?" She suddenly changed her internal attitude and suddenly EVERYONE recognized her and mobbed her.

Today I want you to do that. I want you have all the confidence, joy and fun that you would have if you allowed yourself to believe that you looked "perfect" (whatever that means). I want you to fake it if you need to and see how it feels.

I have come to believe that if you can do this, you can change your physical body and more importantly, change your life.

Story von Holzhausen

subbing

I am subbing today at 9:30 at 74th and 2nd and Tuesday 12/21 @ Columbus Circle at 11:00 in the Yoga studio.

FOOD

Most of us love to eat. We all have tastes and textures that we just can't get enough of. Over my years of working with people trying to change their bodies and their lives, I have seen a strange relationship between people and food evolve.

In an effort to "control" their weight, food becomes the enemy. Something to be managed, stressed over and scary. Certain foods (often labeled "binge foods') become barred from the house and they become invested with such power that they are like "the boogie man" of our childhood fears.

I remember one client had this relationship with french fries. Others have it with peanut butter or with candy etc. Even if you don't have one food that you tend to be a little strange with, you may have other types of emotional eating issues. I know very few adults who do not have any kind of emotional attachment to food.

How do we strip our groceries of "power"? How do we turn this strange cycle around? Most people know exactly what they should be eating but the problem seems to be finding the way around these emotional land mines.

I have learned that the path that seems to work the best is one that leads people away from "dieting". Food needs to be celebrated and redefined. Food needs to be something you love and relish and enjoy again.

If you "diet" all day and strip all the joy out of your meals, at night, after all you do for the rest of the world, you are going to want a "reward". You will find that "forbidden fruit" impossible to resist.

How did I handle my client with the french fry obsession ? I told her I wanted her fridge FILLED with french fries. I made her promise me to eat french fries at every meal. We made huge changes as I explained all the healthy foods that she had to try to fit into her day. (The healthiest diet is based on diversity and every color of vegetable needs to be a part of our diet along with lean meats, fruits,nuts and seeds which ends up being a lot of food !).

Whatever your favorite food, there is likely a way to work it into your daily life in a way that is healthy and that can make it no longer "taboo" which is a far healthier emotional place for it to be.

Some foods (like french fries) are so unhealthy that first you need to find a way to improve them before you work them into your diet. This is easily done by possibly using sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes and then working on a healthy oil or even possibly baking them. Other foods that are pretty healthy already just need to be put into your diet in a way that makes sense and helps balance out your eating as a whole. There are many ways of doing this. If you have specific questions or need ideas, you can consult a dietitian, find great recipes on the Internet or even email me !!!!

The important thing is to stop "dieting" and take the fear/power out of food. Find the joy again in what you are eating and start to look at fueling your body like a fun puzzle. How will you fit all those great foods into your day? How will you ever be able to EAT all that food ?

I am going to start blogging some cool ways that I am helping specific people tackle these issues. I will also share some really great and pretty easy ways to make healthy food truly delicious.

Be well !!!!

Story von Holzhausen

human contact

This is a magical time of year. It is also a stressful and sometimes lonely time of year. As we move forward in the age of technology and "delivery" of anything and everything, we leave our houses less. We step outside our comfort zone less often. Here is NYC you can be cramped in a train full of people and be completely alone. All of us with our ear buds/ I-phones/crossword puzzles/smart phones/kindles, stand isolated in a crowd of people. Many studies have also shown that our brains stay healthy and young by changing our daily patterns.

I spend my first year teaching in NYC literally morning, noon and night and had no friends. I had a "cult following" and was so lonely. I know on some levels everyone can relate to that. It seems much more common in a big city to be lonely than a small town. We rarely have "old friends" who live here and if we do, they may very well be in a different phase of life than we are.

There have been small towns where people live much longer than normal. These towns have been studied and one factor that seems to be within these communities there is a strong sense of well, community. People are connected to each other and have daily interactions.

If you do not have co-workers like many people who do one on one work or own their own businesses, you spend most of your time alone or with people that it would be unprofessional to spend time with socially. Many stay at home parents or out of work individuals also suffer the effects of isolation. Sometimes, being a "new Mom" can be the most isolating thing to happen to a person. There are so many scenarios that can potentially lead a person to feeling "alone".

How do we create this sense of "community" in our lives? In this world of electronic intervention, how do we stay connected? I have been pondering this and have some ideas.( I would love to hear some of your ideas too):

1) Join a place of worship (there are places that don't follow any religious dogma but are open to whatever your beliefs are.

2) Learn a new sport (there are clubs for fencing, running, boxing, martial arts etc. and you can meet an amazing array of people there)

3) Take a class to learn Chess/bridge/a new language etc. Not only is this good for your brain but it is also really good for YOU.

4) Change the timing of your day and see what new people you meet.

5) Throw a party and have everyone you know bring 2 friends you don't know.

6) Volunteer.

7) Go to a dog run (even if you don't have a dog, you can always do some research to figure out if you want a dog or what kind of dog would be a good fit).

8) Tag along with a friend through their day. Anything outside of your norm leads to all new possibilities of interaction.

9) Go to a neighborhood you have never been and sit in a small coffee shop and be friendly to the people there.

10) Unplug. Look around you. If you think something (like how nice that sweater is on the person is next to you, SAY it). When you "make someone's day", you make your own. We all have amazing power to create joy all around us.

11) Do good. Look for ways to do this. It may be a stranger or it may be someone you already know very well.

12) Listen to your mother. Ask her what she did when she was younger. You may get some ideas.

Story von Holzhausen