Life Phases

I heard from one of my students who moved this week. One of reasons I love what I do is getting to really connect with amazing people. It is always hard to "lose" someone to a move. Especially since I do not teach where they are moving.

Every year when I do my "6 week challenge", I am amazed at how every single person who signs up is lonely on some level. The most beautiful and exciting person/life has "holes" in it. Areas that are lacking on some level. The feeling of connecting, being "seen" and loved are what make us happy. Knowing we are valued,making a difference in someone else's life and sharing a bond with another human being are as needed as food and water if we are to "thrive".

In all phases of life, we ache for something and mourn the loss of something else. When we are children, we want to "be older" and we want our freedom passionately. Never realizing the responsibility and stress that comes with it. We search for a "life mate" or we search for Mr/Mrs. Excitement. The journey and beauty of the search is only seen clearly in hindsight. Every one of my single friends laments their singledom. Anyone married (who is honest with themselves) will admit that there is a kind of "loss" in the mystery of "how your life will unfold" being behind you. You can love your spouse deeply and have a very satisfying marriage but the thrill of discovering someone and "falling in love" is behind you.

As a Mother of twins, I remember asking everyone "when does it get easier?". I laugh at that question now. "It" doesn't get harder or easier, it just changes. You have to physically work with a baby. Changing diapers, feeding, bathing etc. As your child grows, you have to "direct" them into doing those things themselves (hopefully not changing diapers but you get the idea). Some days, I think it was easier when I could just do it myself. The worries change and we swap one issue for another as we journey through life. I used to worry that my kids might get burned by a hot stove. Now I worry about them being burned by an unkind word.

At 44, I find it harder to have "fun". Having been blessed with quite an eventful life, there is not much I "can't wait for". I am grateful for the security and peace of my life but at the same time, I see my "unsettled" friends and see the fun and beauty of the "searching" that they can't see.

All of us move through phases of our lives. Some are clearly awesome. Some really do stink. Mostly, they have an olio of extremes and gentle waves of happiness and challenges. What a gift it would be (to ourselves) if we were able to see with clarity, while we are "IN IT", the wonder of our own lives exactly where we are right now.

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The Honesty of Trees

I love Fall. It is a time where I feel we are the most in touch with the earth. We celebrate the trees as they transform to living fire. The smell of fall, crisp air, leaves, apples and the age old feeling of "harvest time" are some of the reasons I love this season so much.

Although I can't remember exactly how old I was when I learned this, I remember thinking it was the coolest thing I had ever: The color the leaves turn in fall are their "true" color. The colors were there all along. The chlorophyll (green) that infuses the leaves and functions to take in and convert energy, completely hides the colors.

The tree and therefore the leaves need the chlorophyll to survive and it functions as their equivalent of food. As humans, we go beyond our brother trees and wrap ourselves in needed and unneeded layers. We create some layers and steal from other animals to create some. We do this in order to survive and in some cases we do this to hide or to create our "Self" from ourselves or others.

What if we could see the colors in each other under our layers of fashion and fear? I wonder at how few people would ever have the courage to look at their own foliage let alone let the world see it.

There is an honesty to the trees that I admire. When the "season" comes to let go of the illusion and of the "youth" of Spring and Summer, it does. The beauty is astounding. There is an inspiration there for all of us if we care to see it.

Story von Holzhausen

getting back to blogging

I ran into a friend/student today. One of those people who are like a bright light that shines on you when they smile. She asked me if I was ok because I hadn't blogged in a long time. It was great to know that she was reading the blog but I realized that it has been a very long time since I have reached out and connected with all of you.

This has been a tough few months for me in some ways and a wonderful stretch in others. Classes are amazing and I feel inspired and moved by all of you. I am so lucky to get to do what I do for a living. Some of you will have noticed that I have had some joint pain the last few months and have been sick to my stomach. I can't imagine anything could ever keep me from doing all the things I love but it has been a bit harder lately.

One of the reasons I have not blogged is that I wanted to have some resolution before I opened up about it. Life rarely gives us the "resolution" we want so we need to find the peace within ourselves and enjoy the journey.

Keep tuned in and I will keep up my blogging .....

Story von Holzhausen

A few of my favorite things

I wanted to share a few things that I have discovered (or in some cases rediscovered) that are great:

1) Thermos Large Stainless Steel Hydration Bottle

It is a large bottle but ice will stay ice overnight even in the heat of August as I walk around. AMAZING !

2) You can take out the insoles of your shoes/cycling shoes and wash them. Often.

3) Athlete's foot powder in your shoes can help keep your feet smooth (that hard skin is often yeast/fungus based)

4) Reading is such a great way to travel, explore and live a million lives w/very little money. This year's picks:

a)George R.R. Martin's "A Game of Thrones" series. (I reread the whole thing this year because after 6 years the 5th book is finally out)

b) Cutting for Stone

c) Fall On Your Knees

5) Kat Von D tattoo concealer (it is light, does't run or show and can hide anything)

6) Benefit "Girl Meets Pearl". This stuff rubbed into your cheekbones makes your skin look perfect

7) Apifeni clothing for working out. So brilliant to put body shaping technology into workout wear. Compression helps recovery.

8) NibMor chocolate bars. They are sweetened with Agave

9) Vitamin Water Zero. The only easy to find drink sweetened with Stevia

summer love

I have been so remiss about blogging this summer. I got sucked into reading the George RR Martin series again after watching the HBO series and I was an addict all over again. I am not 5% away from finishing book 5 which took 6 years to come out. UGH.

I don't know where to begin in the praise of all my students ! This year has marked a huge growth in Liquid Strength® classes in NYC and the first time that there has been a class outside of NYC. Greenwich classes are as crowded and excited as all my NYC classes are.

I hope all of you are taking advantage of the delicious food that summer has to offer. I have been making myself Soft Shell Crabs. I never knew how EASY they are. I just lightly dust them with buckwheat flour and pan sear in olive oil. It takes 5 minutes and they are unbelievable. Cherries and watermelon have been my treat and daily splurge. YUM.

It will be really interesting when September comes around and everyone comes back to class how we are all going to fit in to the room....I have a feeling that it is time to add a few more classes.

Have a wonderful rest of summer everyone and I will see you in September !!!

The Best You

Standing in line at the grocery store, it is easy to get sucked into the sea of magazines that feed on tragedy, gossip and "who looks horrible in a bathing suit". These magazines stalk you when you get a haircut, see the dentist or have to wait in any room specially designed for just that purpose. The few times I am forced to get a manicure pedicure (I am not really a mani/pedi girl) for an event or job, I see women reading said "magazines" during the sacred half an hour they have managed to carve out of their busy lives that is supposed to be their "me time".

My viewpoint on "bottom feeding" is well documented here on my blog. (see "Global Spiritual Economy" post below). Nobody can feel good about themselves when they are knocking someone else down. Reading and supporting the selling of human misery is like passive bullying.

The next time the choice is there, pick up something to read that will teach you something. Working with people like I do on their "Self" and their "Self-worth", I see that all of us have talent and gifts to share with the world. Our biggest stumbling block is our "Selves". Many times as I try to help someone get to a great place physically, we discover that they are engaging in self abusive behavior. This can be in the form of feeding themselves badly, working themselves sick, a drinking or drug problem but more commonly, relentless self inflicted verbal abuse.

How can a person give and share with the world their "best self" if they can't find it ? Our lives are comprised of little decisions that we make every day. Your "Best You" is already there. Perfect , peaceful and patient. It is just waiting for you to stop chasing your tail and repeating the cycles of obsession and insecurity. Just let it go and decide that are going to be your own biggest fan and supporter.

Happiness attracts happiness. Joy radiates and spreads. Decide that you will be a a force of good in the world. Start by being a force of good in your own life and with the ultimate kindness towards your "self".

Story von Holzhausen

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The"fake it till you own it" trick

It is amazing how much of our lives and happiness is based on how we perceive. As I get older, I am less ticklish. I also am not afraid of needles or pain. Perhaps Liquid Strength has something to do with it, but I have learned to have a lot more "say" about how my body perceives stimuli. Even the emotional kind.

We get to choose how we experience our lives, our selves and the people around us. "Truth is the daughter of time" is my favorite quote. It allows me to sit back and let myself and those around me "figure it out". Justice, honesty and good will reveal themselves with time. False fronts will slip away and show their cracks.

In my work, I get to have intense personal connections with such a wide range of people. Even the physical boundaries of our society are not relevant in what I do. I can't count how many times in a day I reach out and put my hands on my students/clients bodies and move them into position. The places I normally touch would be beyond inappropriate in any other setting.

Perception forms our "truth". That truth will be different when viewed through someone else's eyes. Insecurity, fear and confidence in most adults are based in their perceptions of themselves, their bodies and their belief system of how they themselves are perceived. Some of the most beautiful people I know, are deeply insecure. The attention and pressure that they feel can be daunting. Many of my more famous clients suffer the most from this pressure. What I have noticed is that they have a kind of "persona" that they slip on when viewed by the "public". This persona is part protection, part costume and only partially based on reality.

The ability to project the image they wish the world to see is a gift. It allows them to "be" that image in many ways. I call this the"fake it till you own it" trick. Our posture, our aura and our "presence" all send a message to the world. More importantly, they send a message to us. The more we feel that we are something special and "worthy", the more we become just that.

Vanity and ego are the exact opposite of true confidence. They are "needy". A person who believes in their worth, does not need the attention of everyone around them. The irony is that such a person will get just that.

My son asked me while back, "Mommy, what is it to be cool?". That gave me pause. I had to think about it a while. Sometimes it seems (through our teenage perception) that "cool" can mean aloof, apathetic or even mean. What I told him is this "being cool is when you don't need anyone else to think you are cool, because YOU think you are".

We all have so much to give. There are opportunities for kindness and generosity throughout our day. The better we feel about ourselves and the less time and energy we waste on insecurity, the more we have to give to the world. Just like training our bodies, we can train our minds. We can begin to change the dialogue in our brains from "I am so fat/old/ugly/stupid" to "I perfectly embody myself". "I have so much to give the world". "There is so much power within me". We can all "Fake it till we own it". There is a grain of truth in nearly every statement. Nurturing the grains of truth that we want to believe and to be, is the most important job we have. We all have the power to change ourselves, our lives and the world. All we need to do is begin.

Story von Holzhausen