Liquid Strength fix for TCESESM

I have decided to start blogging about the small stuff. The things that come up (or I learn) in daily life. When it comes right down to it, that is what the whole point of life is right ? It has been a strange year. So many people really effected by the economy. You can feel how the "bling" nation has turned into the "green/cost saving" nation. What was cool just a few years ago (lots of flashy, glossy displays of wealth) is completely tacky and "out" now. I personally love that change since I am low on fashion sense and seems a very good thing too as I try to teach my children what matters in life.

There is a balance (and I know a lot of you struggle with this too) between living an evolved and meaningful life and yet still "caring what you look like". I remember my Mom telling me when I was a teenage that "I would still care what I look like when I am 50". I thought she was nuts. Once I am married and "old", that stuff won't matter at all to me (I thought). Yeah, right. I know a lot of very intelligent and giving people who work for multiple charities and causes and are not in the least bit trivial. I do not know ONE person who does not care how they are perceived or "how they look". Hopefully, as we age, we care a lot less about how MOST people perceive us and care more about earning affection, value and respect from the few that really matter.

It seems that what we strive for is to be free of insecurities that take up our time and thoughts so we can focus on what matters to us. Being a trainer and a model, I obviously have even an economic stake in how I look. At the same time (as most of you know, ha ha) I am very lazy and don't care much about my clothes, hair etc. I know a woman who works for a non- profit. Her life's work is to do "good" and she does. This woman also has amazing style and looks so put together every time I see her that I think "I need to get a STYLE", take the time to put myself together like that. Of course, the thought is gone in 5 minutes but it was there.

If you think back on the times in your life that you were the happiest about yourself, most likely you spent very little time thinking about it and very little time looking in the mirror fussing with your clothes, hair, etc. What I have noticed over the years is that when we are UNHAPPY with what we look like, we tend to spend a LOT of time thinking about it. It invades our consciousness like cancer. The energy that we could be spending DOING good gets sucked up into our insecurities and our obsessions with "losing 5 lbs". Most often I see this in people who are beautiful on every level (many celebrities in fact) . They have amazing lives and you would never know that underneath it, they have this inner drama. This time consuming, energy sucking, tug of war with doing amazing things and internal "emotional self mutilating". (let's call in TCESESM for short) AH, you recognize this person ? I bet you do.

This has been a strange year for my relationship with my body. Being on massive hormones, being pregnant and then not being pregnant, has made my connection with my body and my self a bumpy road. I was thinking about it a lot. Part of it is that to "work" (modeling and promoting liquid Strength), I have to look good. My economy is directly tied to what I look like. No pressure !!!?

What I have found, is that although most people have jobs that are not directly related to what they look like, they care just as much if not more than I do about just that. There is often a good amount of guilt attached to this. On top of our "time consuming, energy wasting obsessing about our "thinning hair", "stretch marks", "bloated belly" (go on, I am sure you can think of 10 examples yourself) etc "self mutilating" (TCESESM), we get to add feeling GUILTY about the whole thing on top of the pile.

I am giving you (like I have the authority, right?) full permission to officially care what you look like. There, done. You do anyway, right? EVERYONE does. Do your best to get to a place where you are happy enough to STOP thinking about it so you can DO all the good you want to do in your life. I know for me, when Tamar from "Gotham Glow" (who I adore because she makes me laugh like crazy which is therapy in itself) comes to give me a body sculpting spray tan, I am teaching enough Liquid Strength and taking my Amino Vital and eating like I should (for me that means "PUT the brownie down) to be in a "good place" with the outside, I think about it very little. I get SO much done and have new ideas for making life better for anyone I can.

There is a mixture of real work and changes (like "putting the peanut butter jar DOWN" and training well) and also "emotional and behavior training" that will bring us freedom from TCESESM. Do what you can with those real world issues (get to class, go for that run and PUT THE FRENCH FRY DOWN) but also when you feel an attack of TCESESM coming on, push it out of your mind and focus on something else. You get better with time and practice just like Liquid Strength.