I went through and deleted any posts that were not really important to getting you to a "better place". Take the time to read through the posts as it will not take long. There are some subjects that I found myself connecting with that I had forgotten about (and I wrote them all !). Some evenings, I am going to go back and read them again and center myself within my daily stress. We all work so hard at our jobs, taking care of pets/kids/family/friends. The most important "project" is our formation of our "selves" and yet very few people really work on that. It takes bravery to face our faults and our mistakes and to work to love the things we don't like very much about ourselves. All the external change in the world will not bring us happiness. Every day we read about celebrities who "have everything"and engage in self destructive behavior. If a person does not see themselves as "beautiful" and "worthy", all the praise and attention in the world will only make them unhappier. We all have to work hard to love and like ourselves. That is no easy feat. The possibilities for good that we can bring to the world are ENDLESS if we can but begin this process.
This challenge, more than anything, is about that. I want you to take a good look at yourselves and decide that you are going to accept yourselves as you are and work on the things you can change. Nothing about your lives can change without that "love of self". Anyone who you know that is selfish, bitter and egocentric is hiding a terrible secret. They don't really believe they are worth it. Insecurity and "ego" are soulmates.
The hardest and scariest work we will ever do is this: Strip away our affectations and masks and honestly face what your opinion of yourself is.
The journey begins with this.
Story, thanks for posting this. It relates to one of my goals for the challenge: To see myself as a beautiful person and to have my food choices reflect and support that view of myself. This may seem strange, that my food choices change how I see myself, but for me at least they are directly connected.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a painfully long explanation of this, which was deeply personal and hard to write - and too long to post! I'll sum up by saying that though I haven't thought of myself as an ugly person, I certainly have rarely thought of myself as beautiful. There have been all sorts of reinforcements to this mindset, but slowly but surely, the mindset is changing. Being strong and healthy has a lot to do with this shift in paradigm.
The less attractive I think I am, the less I take care of myself. And that is reflected in what I eat, how often and hard I work out, how much sleep I get, etc. When I think of myself as unattractive or unsuccessful and I eat only junk foods or not enough food or too much food, I reinforce that negative idea of myself. I tell myself that I'm correct to think that I'm not attractive, smart, or successful. And the worse I feel about myself, the worse I treat myself, the worse I feel... And so on in a downward spiral.
This downward spiral stops everything in my life. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but it's true: The lower I feel about myself the less effective I am in all areas of my life.
I'll give you a recent example: I was laid off in late November, then came down with a flu that lasted a full month. By the time I returned to New York City from Christmas, I was out of shape, broke and effectively unemployed. When a long-awaited payment for some freelance work was once again delayed, I lost it. Lost it. I was weepy, unfocused, depressed - and eating like a pig. I ate more pizza in the first two weeks of January than I had probably had in the year before. Which in turn made me heavier, unhealthier and more self-loathing. One day I was walking to a rehearsal and instead of stopping for yet another slice of pizza, I had homemade soup. I felt really good about that one decision and that night made another good decision for myself and then another and another. And a few days later I put on some cute clothes and went out with friends for the first time in weeks.
And the key word in that last sentence is "cute". It took me a long time to think of myself as anything more than nerdy and approachable, to think of myself as cute. Or dare I say beautiful. By not taking care of myself I let that hard-won improved self esteem slip again. And all I had to do to get back on the positive, productive path was put down the slice and pick up the soup.
It's so incredible how just one little step in the right direction can change everything. Kind of like how Story talked about turning the downward spiral upside down....just one little thing. Cool.
ReplyDelete