The"fake it till you own it" trick

It is amazing how much of our lives and happiness is based on how we perceive. As I get older, I am less ticklish. I also am not afraid of needles or pain. Perhaps Liquid Strength has something to do with it, but I have learned to have a lot more "say" about how my body perceives stimuli. Even the emotional kind.

We get to choose how we experience our lives, our selves and the people around us. "Truth is the daughter of time" is my favorite quote. It allows me to sit back and let myself and those around me "figure it out". Justice, honesty and good will reveal themselves with time. False fronts will slip away and show their cracks.

In my work, I get to have intense personal connections with such a wide range of people. Even the physical boundaries of our society are not relevant in what I do. I can't count how many times in a day I reach out and put my hands on my students/clients bodies and move them into position. The places I normally touch would be beyond inappropriate in any other setting.

Perception forms our "truth". That truth will be different when viewed through someone else's eyes. Insecurity, fear and confidence in most adults are based in their perceptions of themselves, their bodies and their belief system of how they themselves are perceived. Some of the most beautiful people I know, are deeply insecure. The attention and pressure that they feel can be daunting. Many of my more famous clients suffer the most from this pressure. What I have noticed is that they have a kind of "persona" that they slip on when viewed by the "public". This persona is part protection, part costume and only partially based on reality.

The ability to project the image they wish the world to see is a gift. It allows them to "be" that image in many ways. I call this the"fake it till you own it" trick. Our posture, our aura and our "presence" all send a message to the world. More importantly, they send a message to us. The more we feel that we are something special and "worthy", the more we become just that.

Vanity and ego are the exact opposite of true confidence. They are "needy". A person who believes in their worth, does not need the attention of everyone around them. The irony is that such a person will get just that.

My son asked me while back, "Mommy, what is it to be cool?". That gave me pause. I had to think about it a while. Sometimes it seems (through our teenage perception) that "cool" can mean aloof, apathetic or even mean. What I told him is this "being cool is when you don't need anyone else to think you are cool, because YOU think you are".

We all have so much to give. There are opportunities for kindness and generosity throughout our day. The better we feel about ourselves and the less time and energy we waste on insecurity, the more we have to give to the world. Just like training our bodies, we can train our minds. We can begin to change the dialogue in our brains from "I am so fat/old/ugly/stupid" to "I perfectly embody myself". "I have so much to give the world". "There is so much power within me". We can all "Fake it till we own it". There is a grain of truth in nearly every statement. Nurturing the grains of truth that we want to believe and to be, is the most important job we have. We all have the power to change ourselves, our lives and the world. All we need to do is begin.

Story von Holzhausen

Rediscovery

Most of us like our routines. We get into our "grooves" and like it there. The day begins with our morning ritual and stretches out from one to the next in the patterns of our days. It is human nature to crave routine. From the time we are babies, it helps us function.

The downside to these routines is that they make our comfort zone very rigid. We begin to cease having to think or adjust ourselves to new stimuli. There was a study this year that showed that simply changing our route to work every day can help us keep our brains healthy. Some routines I find myself trying to get into. A routine of flossing I have done but can't seem to motivate myself to master one for my skin.

This year I have made a conscious effort to form some routines (like organization and household chores) while losing the routines that are not useful to my daily life. There is a real challenge to keep our passion and our "edge" with things that are so common to us that we cease to see them. Most of us have a job we have done for many years. We are likely good at or in this economy, we wouldn't have it anymore. When we began this job, we likely had a passion for breathing new life into it and doing it better than anyone ever did. I find with age, many people are threatened by new ideas or anything that may question how we do things. That is the very attitude that will limit us and "age" us. The moment we think we know it all, is the moment we cease to get better.

I have been teaching indoor cycling for 17 years. This year I have rediscovered it. Not an easy feat but a wonderful thing to have happen. Liquid Strength is a constantly evolving entity. That is why it is so special. The road will never end in a destination but continue on a journey leading us to a better place both physically and mentally/emotionally. Let's try to take that growth into our lives and rediscover how fun and challenging our lives are.

Story von Holzhausen

beautiful

I love that word. Beautiful. The weather right now is just that and what a difference in our lives it makes. The funny thing about beauty is that you really can't define it. It means something different to everyone. Beauty can be a superficial thing or the deepest and most profound of praise. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is as beauty does. There are endless cliches I could quote but I will spare you.

When it comes to people, I have learned that beauty (the superficial kind) can give you an advantage or a handicap. It seems that we all find people who are confident the most attractive. In many cases, just thinking you are "gorgeous' is enough to convince everyone around you of that fact.

It is amazing how much power we can give to the elusive quest for beauty. We cannot even see ourselves unless we choose to look in a mirror but yet our day can be ruined if we don't like what we "see". We could just "opt out" of the whole thing and just not look. The reality is that it would make very little difference, I mean, we can FEEL it if our bodies are uncomfortable or (in my case anyway) our noses are too big to fit in a glass when we drink but otherwise, as long as everything is working properly, why should care ? You sure as heck don't see any other animals worrying about such a silly thing. Yet for many people, a big part of their self worth comes from how they are perceived by others. Many times by strangers.

What if everyone chose to believe themselves to be "beautiful"? What if we were sure that everyone who saw us thought we were a perfect 10 ? How would our lives change? The reality is that they wouldn't very much. We would either love our jobs or not, be lonely or not and be happy or not. All that really matters is what YOU think of yourself. Yours is the only opinion you hear about all day long.

In my younger years, it mattered so much to me that everyone "like" me. I find as I get older, it really isn't about me. As long as I do the best I can to be good and do good, the lens with which the world will view me, isn't mine. Each person's lens will be clouded by past experiences, their own fears and insecurities and personal taste. It is really "none of my business" what anyone thinks of me. The important people in our lives are of course are a different matter but anyone walking down the street, if they notice us at all (and as we get older we very happily realize that everyone is far too busy with their own baggage to notice US), it is none of our business.

A very clear way to find happiness is to live our lives so that we like the person we are. The less we need validation from others, and the less time and energy we waste seeking it, the more we have to give. I find that training hard and gaining strength both physically and mentally, I earn my own respect. I can see from watching all of you, that you earn yours too. The most beautiful people I know are those who seem to have peace within themselves. They have such a strong base in their sense of "self" that they are not egocentric or boastful (these are hallmarks of insecurity). They are truly interested in learning / growing and excited for the success, talent and joy of others.

Every one of is responsible for the health and strength of our bodies. We are also responsible for the maintenance of our souls and minds. The more we feed ourselves and the stronger we get, the more we have to offer the world.

Where is spring ?

The weather is a reminder of just how much we don't control our world. As much as we think we do, the reality is that much of our lives hinge on fate/god/karma whatever it is you believe in. That can be a scary thought or a beautiful one. I am reading an amazing book called "Cutting For Stone" right now. It is set in Ethiopia but the characters are Indian. The god Shiva is the god of destruction. As Americans, we have a hard time understanding how a god that causes destruction could ever be good. If you think about it, the end of anything is the beginning of something else. When our lives change, we learn. With every turn of the road , we take in different scenery and are forced to take stock of our surroundings and even our own footfall. (If you have never seen the movie "Outsourced", it is a great film and shows with great humor exactly what I mean)

Looking back at my own life, I am grateful for the hardest times. The most difficult roads led me (even if the journey was agony at the time) to exactly the place I was supposed to be. That being said, I am grateful that I did not see the hard times coming. Not knowing exactly what will happen is a gift. It allows up to hope and dream. Perhaps the important thing is that we walk on our road with conviction and do our best to leave the people that we pass better for having crossed our paths.

Striving to better ourselves, whatever that means to you, is a journey too. You will have legs on your journey that don't feel "successful" to you. I truly believe that they are exactly the experience that you were meant to have. The secret is allowing yourself to "own" your limits and failures and learn from them. I like to think about the tough times in my life like muscle soreness. When I heal from it, I am going to be that much stronger.

Story von Holzhausen

5 weeks left

Hello all, I "left you all alone" over the weekend. After the first 3 days, one of 3 things happened:

1) You pretty much stuck to the three days because it was working and not as hard as you thought it would be.

2) You decided to add in some foods in and through some trial and error, feel ok about how it is going.

3) You intended to stay on the basic 3 day plan but to add some foods in and slipped off the deep end like it was a sheet of ice.

No matter which scenario fits, only 1 week has gone by and we have 5 left.

Sometimes, time is the hardest part of making change. We have to wait until the small shifts gather enough momentum to yield results we can feel and see. I would like to give some ground rules for everyone to follow. Some are specific to goals and some are for everyone.

For everyone:

1)Everyone should be doing 2xs of cardio a week and 2xs of strength training during this challenge. This can be power walking (intervals are best) or classes for cardio and push ups, walking lunges, weights or classes for strength training. Liquid Strength counts as one of each.

2) Doing your journaling and stretching/meditation daily (especially important to do during the time you normally eat badly to replace the behavior)

3) Read the blog, check into the facebook page or reach out to your teammates. Daily communication is really important.

4) Drink water with lemon in the morning and before dinner.

If your goal is weight loss:

1) exercise (even gentle)

2)Strength training that leaves you sore (especially larger muscle groups like glutes) during those twice weekly sessions.

3)Make dates with your teammates, trainers, DVDs etc. to work out.

4)Decide and plan for your eating plan.

If your goal is inner related (even if you wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds too)

1) Focus your journaling on what you are experiencing or not experiencing in your day. Watch for the emotional triggers that bring about the desire to self sabotage. What makes you feel good/bad about yourself during your day.

2) Take a very practical look at your day. Are there ways to make your life simpler ? Could you ask for help. Even hire a college student to do tasks that would allow you to have better quality attention on what is really important?

3) Write down what changes you would like to make and slowly push the boundaries around you towards a place that is healthier for you.

4) Take some time to focus on your belief system. (this can mean religion, philosophy, friendships etc.). What do you truly believe in ? What are you passionate about? If you never had to work again, what you choose to do? These are very important questions. The more closely we can align our lives up with what we love and what we believe we are supposed to be doing, the happier we are.

Answer these questions:

1) I feel best about myself when I am doing ________

2) I admire _______ in my friends.

3) I have always wanted to __________

4) I wish I could _________

5) I think I am really good at _________

Let yourself answer these unedited and then go back and read them. What can learn about the life you would like to have. One of the hardest challenges is finding the answers to these questions. Maybe you have no idea what you are passionate about. To be interesting, even to ourselves, we have to have passion about what we do in our lives. Finding that passion and fostering it's growth is perhaps the most important thing we can do in our lives.

I would love to hear what all of you do that you are passionate about. You can email the group or post on the facebook page etc. I will go first:

1)My children, dogs and friends

2)making a difference in women's lives and how they feel about themselves

3) reading and crossword puzzles

4) learning and curiosity

With 5 weeks left, we can really do so much

Story von Holzhausen

"Global Spiritual Economy"

As we watch Japan in the aftermath of this tragedy and send our thoughts out to all the people suffering, conversations in our house have been enlightening. My son (10) asked me "Mommy, how do you survive a Tsunami?". I had no answer for him. Some things are too big and hit too fast to have a plan for. I asked Kurt (he is in finance and I am learning that there is a beauty and an art to the web and movements of the economy) how this will effect Japan's economy and how it will effect the world. I was an Art Major (health major). I loved studying art history. The art of any given period reflects the "pulse" of the time and people it was created around. It expresses the politics, sociology and social trends, giving a much fuller understanding of the culture it was created in. Money and finance has never been of any interest to me. I am learning that (and this is amazing to me) the "global economy" is a lot like art. If you watch the history and movement of "the money" in the world, you will see the history of almost every major discovery and development of man kind.

When I asked Kurt if the tragedy in Japan will change the economy here, the answer was a beautiful one. He said "Many people will imagine that was is bad for someone else must be good for us but it doesn't work like that. It is a global economy. It is like we are a big woven structure and all the countries of the world are threads that interlock. What is bad for one is bad for all. The whole structure is damaged and comes down."

This "global economy" is beautiful to me when I think about it like that. I can see that there is a "spiritual global economy". Every one of us is a string that is woven into the web of mankind. The trend towards "green" and "giving" that is happening in our country and world is elevating all of us. Unfortunately, on the other side of the balancing scale, we have tabloids, hacking, scams, gossip and celebrity news.

No single person can change the world but every single person can help keep the part of that weave above their heads elevated. By living an authentic life and giving what you can when you can, you help keep that interlocking web over our heads, up. Sometimes just saying hello and looking someone in the eye is a "gift". There a million little ways to do good built into our days. Every minute we make decisions of what our behavior, actions and thoughts will be. We teach our children by how we speak to taxi drivers and if we even notice the person bagging our groceries. I truly believe that our own happiness is directly connected to our behavior towards others. Karma isn't something that is off in the distance like some big abacus counting out the good and bad of our lives. Karma is here and now. We live in joy or misery we express in our words and deeds.

If you imagine that "global spiritual economy" as a web like a tent that keep us safe, we keep that web up by our deeds, thoughts and intentions. When tragedy strikes (and it will) and that tent comes crashing down on our heads, we either push it back up or we are entangled in it and fall.

On a very small scale, we do this every day. How we judge others and ourselves. When we feel envy towards others and misery towards ourselves, we are lost and tangled in that web. How can we feel joy, acceptance and love for ourselves unless we can feel it towards everyone. There is no "competition". We are not kicking and crawling over each other to reach some prize. We are a team. We pull each other up. We stand on each other's shoulders and give each other a boost. If we don't all get there (wherever "there" is), nobody does.

If I could wave a magic wand and give you a perfect body, would you be happy? Do you want everyone around you to be jealous of you ? If we view our lives as a competition, we cannot ever "win". There is no joy in isolation and friction with the people around us. I believe that our physical beings are in many ways a reflection of who we are.

In this challenge, the biggest "challenge" is to reject the damaging pattern, that our culture seems to ferment, pitting one woman against another. (Obviously men too but women are far worse) We need to understand that our fibers are woven together. What uplifts one, uplifts us all. If you see someone (especially someone who has not been very nice to you) who has suddenly lost weight, married a great guy, been promoted or has a killer outfit, the hardwiring reaction is to be jealous and resentful. I get that. Ask yourself though, after you see that person and have that reaction, do you feel good about yourself ? No. You feel like a black cloud is following you and you feel "yucky" about the whole thing. If we can turn that around and understand that joy and "good" for one is good for all, you can change your life. This is not easy. Especially if you are in a place in your life that you are not happy. I believe without question that this is the secret of happiness though. To train yourself to truly feel joy for others. To not have it be "not about you", will free you. The web above your head will be lifted and you will be able to breath. Just like training a muscle, this will take some work and some pain may be involved. With time, you will get to actually enjoy it and it will get easier.

To view yourself without judgement and with joy, you must view all people that way. To have joy in your life you have to take joy in others. It is so simple and so logical. We have among us in the challenge some amazing women. Last night as I sat alone (a rare and splendid anomoly) watching Law and Order (my guilty pleasure), when Deb appeared. She was there on my television looking sultry and beautiful. I jumped in my chair. She was so impressive. I had a decision right then. I could be either A)threatened and jealous or B)really proud and happy for her. I chose the later. I emailed her right away. I felt great about seeing her and thinking she was so beautiful. The very opposite thing would have happened had I chosen option A. Within the safety net of our group, it is easier to feel "on each other's sides". Try to extend this beyond to the (this is real hard part) people who don't extend it for you.

I was talking to a model in our group. She is stunning. She was saying how hard it is around people from her home town. They treat her differently. She wonders if she has changed. Almost certainly, it is not "about her". The resentment and jealousy she must bring out in others must be terrible. She can feel it like a spider web she has walked through. Subtle and invisible put covering her. She is punished for her beauty through not fault of her own. She can't change this reaction. We can all learn from it though. How isolating and sad that her true beauty is wasted. Her friendship thrown away, leaving her lonely and sad and these "friends" feeling miserable for sure and certainly no better about themselves.

In my life, just like yours, there are people who are most certainly "not on my side". It is a struggle to be on theirs. That is what I need to be though. I can only change my behavior, thoughts and deeds. Sometimes, you fight that battle alone. To elevate and "love" someone who is doing their best to drag that net above your head down, is really hard. It takes constant training and exercise to stay strong enough to keep pushing it up.

I support you in this noble and exhausting "dance". Together we support each other. The real power of this challenge comes from that.

Story von Holzhausen

A Day 3 Note from Erika

Hello Again Challengers!

Now that everyone’s on their way and has nearly completed the first three days, I have a little assignment for you.

Please take a look at your to-do list for this week. If you don’t have one, take a few minutes to write down some things you would like to accomplish over the coming days. This can be related to your Six Week Challenge or not; the choice is yours.

After you write your items, take a few minutes to assess why you’re doing each thing on the list. For example, if you’ve written “I have to visit Aunt Pat,” and you’re not really all that crazy about Aunt Pat, ask yourself why you’re going to visit her.

Let’s tease this idea out a bit more. If your logic for what you’re about to do is something like, “Aunt Pat will be mad if I don’t visit,” or “My mom will be mad if I don’t visit Aunt Pat,” then there’s a little bit more going on in your story.

I’m asking you to look at your choices here and oh yes, you have many more choices than you’re aware of at this juncture. You make choices every day—we all do. Some choices will feel good—as in eating well and exercising. Other choices, like forcing yourself to visit Aunt Pat out of obligation or guilt, will feel, well, pretty crappy. But it’s still your choice.

So when you look at your list and think about why the item is even there, notice where you’ve internalized invisible words like “I have to” and “I should.” The reflexive use of these phrases is very common for us all and guess what? It tells us we have no choice, even when we do. It makes us feel victimized in our lives.

If this column gives you a little charge, that’s a small sign that something here resonates with you. Spend some time exploring your “have to’s” and your “should’s" on your lists. They’ve got some pretty important messages for you, about you.

Please don’t hesitate to email me directly if you have a question. I’m here to help and as always, I’m cheering you on!:)